Here is October's installment of The Adjusters, “A Wedding and an Assignment”, wherein our odd character continues spreading his Ministry, and Daniel Malcolm gets an assignment.
As usual, comments welcome.
I'll also remind you that we have a Speculation Thread available for general discussion. (A thread which I read but do not comment on.)
The Adjusters #33 - A Wedding and an Assignment
(Huntington, West Virginia. Ten months ago.)
He follows the girl through the hallways of City Hall, trying hard to
make it seem like he is not following her. Thankfully, there are
enough people mulling about, looking busy, worried, overwhelmed, that
it is as easily done as said.
He is curious where she is going. Her marriage ceremony--a civil
wedding City Hall, not uncommon, but decidedly not the norm in the
area--is set to start in less than a half hour. A small wedding, by
the way those things are measured, but the reception to follow would
be larger, with a luxurious reception hall reserved at a hotel down
the street. A good hundred guests expected, most of them
young--friends of the couple.
The girl turns a corner in the hallway after a quick look around, and
he tries to camouflage himself among the people milling about. He is
dressed in his dark suit, and he can pass off as a civil servant
fairly easily, at least if he hides his face a little bit.
He approaches the corner, and risks a look. The hallway beyond is
empty. He can hear the sound of her high heels on the floor further
down, past another corner. He hurries as silently as possible to that
corner, and peeks around.
Continue reading...
Next month: “A Wedding and an Investigation”.
Every new part leaves me carving for more, you are amazing writer.
ReplyDeleteThanks Domein—I really appreciate the support.
DeleteIt's always somewhat nerve wracking to put out a new installment, not ever quite knowing how it'll be received.
So interesting chapter(s).
ReplyDeleteSo far book 3 has these flashbacks at the beginning to our new mind controller. Very interesting way to write him. Also wondering what will happen to Liz when she finds out what is going on.
Notice that the intel agent-Armaund, stated that all mind controllers are male and all controlees are female. Therefore, Shawbank could be controlled by ADcorp.
Like the interplay with Cindy and Daniel- their relationship has changed. Is she ok just being friend's with benefits. At the end of book 2 she was, but she also admitted she wanted more from him (and Jenn). Daniel needs to learn how to be a better observer I think as it was implied in Chapter 32.
Nice job summing up book 2 in Daniel's thoughts. Would also be nice seeing Jenn again at some point- or maybe her writings.
Met — good to have you back (if it's you and not someone hijacking your handle)
DeleteI was a bit worried about the summary overview of book II, if only because I feared people thought I was rehashing stuff they already knew. (Which I do.) But I vaguely wanted the books to be moderately readable even if you haven't read the prior ones, up to a point. Not sure how well that works or if I'll stick with it, but it fits with my idea that each book is an independent story within a larger story.
yup...i'm back
DeleteNew reader reporting in, I hope you don't mind if I just leave my general thoughts on your story here.
ReplyDeleteIt might be interesting to note that MC is not really my fetish but that I was still able to enjoy what I've read till now.
While I'm always on the hunt for stories that entertain my brain and penis I actually had to think for a moment until I realized what made this one special:
it's the balance. Everywhere. It simply avoids the most annoying mistakes I've encountered in other novels. The list of characters is not too overcrowded and no one appears useless. It seems many amateur authors get tempted to make their story more epic by listing a huge amount of events for their characters without any details. Or they mention every little interaction they can think of. But here the pace is just right. Throw in some nice cliffhangers, hot girls, regular updates and the ride can begin.
My highlight is definitely the last chapter of book I where you did a perfect job of working out the contrast between the two situations. Engagement versus sex slave programming. Utter happiness versus evil surrender.
I also appreciated the correct terminology when it came to hacking the DIK network and the other computer related topics.
Thanks!
tldr POST MORE
Welcome! First off, thanks for reading, and second, thanks even more for taking the time to let me know how you feel. This helps a lot, and not just in the "if people like the story it makes me want to write it even more" sense—it gives me a perspective on what works and what doesn't.
DeleteMany of things you mention I agonize over—figuring out the characters, trying to get the pace right, etc. And then other things work completely by accident, in a way that always make me fear I won't get it right the next time because I don't know what I did to get it right the first time.
But then again—as has been pointed out here several times—I tend to take my smut way too seriously... *grin*
From danny123
ReplyDeleteJust my thoughts, etc.
As so many of your chapters do, I am filled with questions and speculations on what is going to happen next. The “freaks” seem to be born with this ability to control others. I am speculating that this “gift” comes to them when they are adults else there would made the news as children. It would seem that our good Dr. Cargyle had developed a drug that mimics what the Freaks do and decided to capitalize on it himself. I did not get the feeling that the Doctor himself was a freak. From the previous chapters it appears the girls were kidnapped and brought to the lab. If he had the Freak’s ability, he would have just approached the girls himself. It was nice to see the confirmation that the Freaks have no effect on men.
We also see Daniel getting ready for his first assignment. It should be interesting to see how his first encounter with a Freak goes. On the surface, the Corporation appears to be doing good. They are going after the Freaks and removing them. Of course they could be trying to develop a drug just like the Doctor did. But with the information given so far, they do not appear to have developed a reliable drug. Of course they could be using the "Freaks" to enslave women for the Corporation The Corporation has no qualms about killing people. It would be interesting to know what event(s) caused Shawbank to be like she is. My money is a Freak did something to a family member and now she is out for revenge.
The storyline of Lizzie and Greg makes me believe that Lizzie will encounter our “Wedding” Freak and become enslaved by him and Greg will become an ally of Daniel. It may also end up being a tie in to the next chapter as Daniel comes to West Virginia. Could it be that we will see the Freak attacking Lizzie and Daniel interferes?
I am hoping that we will be getting an update on Jenn in the next chapter. I admit that this is what I am speculating the most about. What is she doing? What has Biff’s programming done to her? Who is she hanging out with?
I also remember that Nils was severely injured and could not have escaped the blast. Besides the “cleaners” were going around killing everyone but the girls.
Excellent! A lot of this is exactly what I wanted to hear: questions and speculations in abundance.
DeleteWe'll learn a lot more about the Freaks in the coming books. They're an interesting bunch.
And Jenn. Yes, what happened to Jenn? And what happened to Biff's programming? I haven't forgotten. We'll pay Jenn a visit soon. She's been having an interesting time during all of this. But that's still a few installments away...
Can't wait for Jenn's update.....wonder what is going on in her head. also wonder if Dan and Cindy will get together again. Also what would happen to Cindy in the hands of a "freak".
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be great cover for the freak to be greg. think of all the details about weddings he could get....
We'll have a Jenn update in about four installments, I think. Although we'll get a hint before that. Dan and Cindy will indeed get together again—he's bound to visit CA at some point. As to the freaks, and whether Cindy will meet one, well, time will tell...
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