Writing Journal: On a small writing pause. I've spent the last few days putting into some semblance of order the nearly 6000 words of notes I have on The Adjusters trying to extract out the bits that will make up Book V. A thankless job, but one I have to go through before forging ahead. Speaking of notes, I did not forget my promise to show you all the notes I made for Book IV several months back. Expect those in the next few weeks.
Speaking of forging ahead, between going through my notes and digesting the comments on the last installment of The Adjusters, it might be a good time to ask my audience—huh, that's you, folks—whether there's anything specific you'd like to see in an upcoming story line.
Now, don't get me wrong: as I said many times before, the broad strokes of the story are set. I know what happens to the various characters, and the beat they go through. But that doesn't mean that there isn't any flexibility in terms of, say, the various indignities that might befall our heroes and heroines.
So let me make this an open thread: if there's anything specific you'd like to see on The Adjusters, any theme you'd like me to hit, any characters you'd like to see put through whatever sexual wringer your twisted mind can conjure up, please let leave a comment below. Do you want to see Calypso or Jenn or Cindy fall prey to a Special? Do you want to see Shawbank taken? Do you want to see more Specials? Fewer Specials?
I can't promise I'll do any of it, of course, but as long as the ideas are not incompatible with the actual story line, there shouldn't be any reason why I can't take requests.
I'll leave you with a nicely twisted story, The Transformation of Betty, by Dom_u_softly: “From sweet housewife to a shared slut in a night.” It's like a wife sharing story, but really it isn't. It's a husband that decided to train his wife as a submissive with the help of a neighbor. If you like your domination with a hint of humiliation where everyone has fun, this is for you.
In terms of twisted sexual kinks, I always did like the DVD chapter back in Part 2. The mind controlled induced cheating/cuckolding was very hot and it all the right notes. That said, I'm not sure how you would use that theme again without retreading old ground.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I would really like to see happen though, not in terms of sexual humiliation and just in terms of reading enjoyment... please fix Jenn's speaking in third person. I always found that very awkward to read and it just takes me out of the story every time I see it happen.
The steam hot end of your "Four Tapes and a Fiancee" comes to mind, when the girl is left with some "public exploit" or trigger known to some people around girl's everyday life by accident. Better yet, if neither girl or her husband\boyfriend are both unaware of this happening, but has some suspicions then finding out what is happening ad trying to find a ways to counter this with varying success. Would love to see this happening to any of the main female characters, especially Jen or Eve, Calypso maybe if her character is developed sufficiently beforehand.
ReplyDeleteRegarding specials - I personally find them too overpowered, with their immediate and ultimate control grasp. I find it much more interesting when victim has a chance to struggle or escape. So less specials or at least less mighty specials would appeal to me. But again, would be quite hot if some special would be able to grasp the Eve during investigation and affect her sufficiently to order "delaying" Daniel sexually while he escapes. Power struggle would be electrically sparking - unstoppable force collides with unmovable object - and we see who wins and how. Yes, I'm talking about her innate resistance vs special special power :)
I don't understand Shawbanks resistance to the Specials, how it works. But it does seem to be both natural and absolute. Maybe if that were to change when she (perhaps occidentally) came in contact with a substance or gas or something. If that were to temporarily negate that resistance, even for a short period of time - which may not leave any permanent change.
ReplyDeleteThe fun to have with the one character that could not be broken...
Thanks for the comments, folks. Keep 'em coming. I won't respond to suggestions directly on this thread, but trust me, they are all exceedingly useful to me right now.
ReplyDeleteI would love to see another hot femdom scene using either Jen or Cassandra as the dom and Mouse or Dr Agneski as the sub. Hell another hot Jen and Cassandra for that matter. In terms of plot would love tosee the DIk girls more. We learned with Jen that the Doctor while making her a slave didn't give her the same mental breakdown most victims of specails get. So all the Dik girls should be seen again in the secret lab below the Institute. Would also love to see Liz and Shelly show up at the Institute. Just for fun i would love to see Daniel end up with a slave girl by accident Maybe Cindy or Calypso or some girl to be named it woud be intresting to see how he would handle the situation
ReplyDeleteI'm of two minds. On the one hand, I think Jen's been through quite enough already, and I'd like to see hey and Daniel finally get their happy ending.
ReplyDeleteOn the oooooother hand, seeing her subject to abuse and humilation, while Daniel can't do anything but watch, is very fun.
HA! Welcome to my world :)
ReplyDeleteMy absolute favorite humiliation "Jennie" has been subjected to is the Biff tattoo. I would love to see more humiliations like this brought about to the girls - forced tattoo(s) or piercing(s). I would also like to see more Asian girls, or some asian bimbo stereotype transformation, sort of how Jennie was forced to talk in the third person, but with an Asian twist to it. Love this story. It's my all time favorite and quite the epic. Keep up the awesome work!
ReplyDeleteBtT,
ReplyDeleteTaking the opportunity to say that The Adjusters is the best thing I've read so far in terms of erotic fiction, inasmuch as the plot, the characters, and the quality of the writing are all sufficiently compelling that I'd be reading it even if it weren't so hot. ;-)
Regarding requests - definitely Shawbank being taken. In the most humiliating, premeditated, terror-inducing way possible. And I have to confess that I found "Charlie and the Convent of Oblivion" pretty distracting from the main story - you've got such great characters, with a historya nd relationships, it seems a pity to "escape" them - even if they're still "analogized" there...
Good luck with Book V!
Endelion
From danny123
ReplyDeleteThe very best parts of the story, the Adjusters, for me was when the girls were adjusted, did not know it, and then someone activates them. It was great to see what their thinking was as they were being activated. I also liked the bash that Daniel crashed early in the story and the medals used to trigger the girls. I do not know exactly how ADCorp adjusts their women, but to me, it would be great if it was similar to the DIK girls. Of course, they may have adjusted a few women outside of the corporation.
Given a vote, I would not want to see Shawbank adjusted. I love the contrast and the fact that some women cannot be adjusted. To me it adds an element of risk to the story. I also like the fact that there is a difference even when the women were adjusted. I am hoping that there will be a follow up story of Kyra. Seeing that she was and wasn’t adjusted, I am utmost curious to see what is and has happened to her. Trish is another.
It'd be intriguing to see a Special just becoming aware of their powers and being disgusted by them so seeks a way to undo what they've done and lose their powers. Not sure if it could fit in the main storyline though unless they slowly degrade and start to accept the powers (with their own personalities changing as a result)
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see a bit more of Serena. She was always an interesting character. And at least for me personally, it would be nice to see her get some sort of happy ending ;). Definitely throw in some aftereffects or whatnot from her own adjustment, but she's one character I'd like to see end up well off.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I too would like to see Shawbank get adjusted.
One of my favorite scenes involved Officer Gonzales and the police chief, when he first triggered her at the station. Another similar scene would be welcome.
ReplyDeleteIn chapter 48 Jenn had finally given a name to the inner slut Biff had created via all his commands, “Jennie”. Jenn did this I can imagine to differentiate between who she is and how she is currently acting. This chapter was the first time where Jenn predicted how Jennie would act as she was a separate entity instead of a set of commands, and had the limited ability to control her, as well.
ReplyDeleteMy request/question: would all the times Jenn went full slut and she blacks out with no memory, culminating in the coma that concluded the penultimate chapter of Book IV, lead into the creation of an actual “Jennie”, a split personality that Jenn’s mind created to compensate for the extended time under the effects of Biff/Dr. Cargyle’s control? I would love to see a dialogue between Jenn and Jennie and possibly a mental battle between the two, and… maybe a chance of Jenn finally taking control of her own body? I realize that the latter would be a long shot, but I can dream…
I've always been interested and hungering for seeing a bit more of the transformation or the process. The ultimate powers of the specials were always a bit too quick and easy for me to really get into it, though the resulting personality flip was always hot. My all time favorite moments were still in Book 2, with the adjustments and having a little bit of a chase/longer runway for the reveal. I'd love to see a girl go through the process, the struggle, and the change. Recently someone began translating Sanbun Kyoden's Maso Mess, and they have an amazing chapter where the main villain describes in detail how he's used various conditioning methods.
ReplyDeleteAlso, really love the moments in Book 2 where an 'ally', friend or trusted person of authority like Serena, Officer Gonzales, Jenn, etc. get 'compromised' and having other characters either not realize it at first and then deal with the possible consequences or realize it and then react to the loss.
I would rather read several medium length (2-3 books) stories with a more traditional arc and closure, than this one "forever". They could still be in the same universe. Or not. :)
ReplyDeleteI would love to see more girls like Jennifer and the cheerleader Trish, who are aware of what's happening to them but can't do anything about it. And, have girls like that interact with one another, please!
ReplyDeleteAgain, thanks for all the feedback, folks, it's super helpful.
ReplyDeleteAnd while I won't respond to individual comments, let me just say that most of the questions that I've raised throughout the first four books I fully intend to answer.
And while it is too late to turn The Adjusters into a more reasonable-length tale (that ship sailed a while back), I do intend to write other more accessible stuff, so don't despair.
My only wish is that you really succeed in answering as many of the questions raised during the first four books and I'm happy to read that you intend to do so.
ReplyDeletePlease follow your outline ... and since I am so in love with your main characters I really hope your plot will - in the end - lead to some kind of 'happy end' for Jenn and Daniel.
And just by the way: Thank you so much for your Work !!
It would be nice to see some follow-up with Elizabeth and Shelly and the Connelly brothers from chapter 38.
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how to work it in, but I'd like to see the Female CEO/secretary fetish at least once. We were teased at this in Book II with the school president, but didn't happen and got Serena action.
I'd like to see something like a high-ranking female member of AdCorp getting caught selling secrets or something of that nature, who in response gets adjusted to be the secretary of the rest of the staff.
Thanks!
I definitely agree that I'd like to see Shawbank get turned out at least for a chapter or two.
ReplyDeleteMy main beef with this story is I originally started reading for the Jennifer/Daniel dynamic, specifically how she's stolen from him. Then once she's MC'd and it looks like we're about to get to the good stuff, we get like 2 chapters out of 30 that feature her...I feel really gyp'd.
One thing that I'd like to see is if Daniel found some of the DVD's that Biff sent him that got intercepted. I prefer that type of NTR/Netorare, as the japanese call it, to the typical cuckold stuff I see out there. That way it won't affect the future story, but we can get some more slut Jennie action.
One thing I like that I don't see enough of is cum fetish/eating, and lots of it. Drinking a pint glass of cum or eat a plate of food covered in cum is a fetish I've developed over the years and while I don't like most videos I've seen look gross, I can enjoy the image in my minds eye by reading about it.
Thanks either way, and look forward to finishing this story.
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ReplyDeleteThis is a hard comment for me to write, and I worry that it may come off as trolling, or as "hiding" behind my Internet anonymity, but I'm going to take the chance and say things I feel need to be said to you. The Adjusters is a mess, and has been for a very long time.
Like a few other commenters, I feel the best sections were in Book II, with the taking of Jenn, the way it was revealed to Daniel, and the fallout from it. Learning about the Specials, taking Daniel on a book-length diversion which could have accomplished its main goals in two or three of the length you use for chapters, then doing pretty much the same thing with Jennie, has been largely wasted time, not only for your readers, but for you yourself as well. One of the commenters suggested shorter complete stories set within the same universe, and I would advocate for that as well.
I am a moderately successful published author, not of erotica, but I see you making a number of common mistakes in your writing. Although your sex scenes can be quite good, and you have psychological depth surrounding sex, you really only have two characters in your universe: Daniel and Jenn. Greg and Liz are Daniel and Jenn with other names (and Shelley is Serena with another name). Everyone else is a caricature or a stereotype, or we simply don't get enough about them to have them be much of anything but plot dressing. The DIK girls are types used to illustrate fetishes, nothing more, as are Mouse and Cassandra. Biff and Shawbank are thugs, almost identical even though they're different genders. This is why I say there should be separate, perhaps variously interconnected, but shorter stories within the overall world you've constructed: because you don't have enough variety in your development of character.
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ReplyDeleteIt's also obvious to me that when you started, you had no idea what story you were telling, or where it was going. You clearly got a direction soon after, but you let it run away with you, and that you can't seem to actually ever get from point A to point B (ie. answer almost any of the questions you've raised so far) only reinforces my opinion that you don't actually know what you're going to write before you sit down and write it. Which, frankly, is why you always find writing so hard. For the past year, each time I check in (randomly, because if you can't post chapters regularly I can't be bothered checking in regularly) there's more posts whining about how hard writing is than posts including actual writing. If you don't respect yourself as a writer, why should anyone else? And if you don't stick to your own self-imposed writing deadlines and a schedule, I assure you that every time you miss a deadline and whine about it, for every commenter who says "oh, poor baby, that's okay," there's two other readers who don't post anything but decide to stop reading your writing because you didn't give them a chapter when you told them you would. It may not be fair, but it's true, and I know it's true from my own experience.
When I stumbled onto The Adjusters on ASSTR, which led me to your site, it was while you were finishing up Book II and I was pleased to find someone who had two strong characters, a ridiculous but imaginative story world, and plenty of juicy kinks to get me excited, both sexually and as a fellow writer. But please believe I say this out of wanting to be honest and give you the best advice I can: you've lost your way. What a serious, committed writing process looks like for you, I don't exactly know, because everyone's is different. But what I do know is that it should contain three things: 1, solid characters, and only as many characters as you can actually make seem alive, believable, and discrete from one another; 2, a well-thought-out beginning, middle, and end of a narrative (when I said "soap opera" above that was not a compliment); 3, the self-respect to prioritize your writing on a regular (maybe daily, maybe weekly) schedule and making the deadlines you set for yourself. If that means a chapter takes two months to write and you do 6 chapters a year, then so be it. Another option is to take a summer hiatus from the blog, where all you do is write, and when you resume monthly publication again, you have a settled writing routine and a buffer of 2-4 chapters already written so you know that for the short-term, you're set, and you're writing now for something to be published in 2-4 months.
In over 15 years as a writer, I've learned this: if your writing is important to you, you'll get it done. And if you don't get it done, it's actually not that important to you.
Wow, lots in there to digest. First off, no need to apologize. Feedback is appreciated, even if seemingly harsh. And thanks for taking the time to spell it out. I'm not going to fall into the defense trap. Some of what you're saying I agree with, some not. It's not really important which.
ReplyDeleteSigh. I'm a whiner. Touché. I'll work on that. I tend to forget how annoying it is :)
But there is something I'm trying to do with this series, and I think the only way for me to learn how to do it is to go through it the way I best know how. I'll fail miserably at times (or create a mess, as you put it). That's okay with me. If a reader's happy with the ride, I'm glad they're tagging along. If not, I hope they leave remembering the stuff they enjoyed, and no hard feelings.
(Were I to write this 'seriously', I'd write the whole thing first and then revise and adjust the pacing and get rid of the redundancies and the stuff that doesn't work and the stuff that plain just doesn't belong in retrospect. That's not what I'm trying to do. One may feel that's what I should be trying to do. But that's an entirely rhetorical discussion at this point.)