Here is May's episode of The Adjusters, "Connections", wherein unforeseen plans are set in motion to distract Daniel, and we learn what makes policemen tick.
As usual, comments welcome. This episode has received less editing than I would have liked, so it is still a bit rough around the edges. Also, thanks to Mr. Scade and Shadebalan for their help.
I'll also remind you that we have a Speculation Thread available for discussion. (A thread which I read but do not comment on.)
16 - Connections
Two days. For two days now, Jackson had been racking his brain trying
to figure out what to do. "You want me to figure out a way to keep
Daniel distracted?" he had asked Kevin, hoping that the fraternity
president would reconsider and ask someone else, but no. "Heads will
roll," had added the president. And Jackson had no doubt that his
would be first on the chopping block.
Keep Daniel distracted. Easier said than done. He sighed. He had had
plenty of ideas in the past forty-eight hours, each more farfetched
than the precedent. And then there were the ideas that were just plain
cruel, and Jackson could not bring himself to even contemplate them in
any seriousness, like vandalizing his home, or messing with the
University Registrar's records, or wrecking his tuition payment
plan. He could not do that to Daniel, whatever the president might
unleash.
The president. Kevin had seemed utterly freaked out over the weekend,
rarely leaving his office, and looking over his shoulder like he was
expecting to be side-tackled by a homicidal linebacker when he
did. Jackson had an inkling that the fraternity president had some
troubles of his own, beyond those that Biff had brought on his head.
Continue reading...
Next month, episode 17: "Consolations".
Ok, that the police was somehow protecting DIK was not really a surprise. Some of us here have already deducted that something fishy was going on since the police didn't get involved even when two college students went missing under suspicious circumstances.
ReplyDeleteCindy being made into a distraction for Daniel was nothing unsuspected, too since Bulgroz already mentioned that possibility last chapter.
So what was new and came, at least for me, as a surprise was Cindy's ability to remember and contemplate her situation. This leads to a few questions:
Is it a physical or psycological difference that makes this possible?
How rare/common is this?
Could it be a glitch in the programming process or just because the frat's lab is improvised?
And the most important one: Is Cindy's nonchalance over her programming and her 'sexual abuse' some part of the programming that is still influencing her or is it part of her original personality?
I believe it must be the programming or at least in parts. Even if Cindy has a serious MC fetish, it is hard to believe that she would agree with how she and the other girls have been treated so far.
interesting.
ReplyDeletesome points:
1) leakage of the behavior modification
2) cindy says it won't work, knowing she was programmed, able to talk about it,breaking her bracelet. ("i'm not supposed to know what happens to me, when you work you're mojo on me"). Wondering what her plan is.
3) nice police coverup of the frat. but was jenn really there or was it the chief doing his part?
4) think only new info was Cindy able to figure out programming and maybe Serena/Daniel fighting
5) Kyra/Jackson little seen was hot
6) wondering exactly what Serena and Cindy discussed about Dan
7) wonder how this senior project fits in it all and some more detail on raven haired woman. If she already got info from Bernie- why does she need the folder that Daniel has.
8) title for chapter 17: consolations. cindy consoling Dan?
Christ, now I'm getting distracted by Cindy. She's quite amazing actually, and I'm curious now to see who Daniel does end up with. Perhaps Cindy was his match all along? or does he get both? :)
ReplyDeleteA great chapter.
ReplyDeleteNice touch letting Cindy remember her actions during the trance.
That will open a lot of possibilities.
The Jackson´s jealousy (by Kyra) will change his side?
Is good to know that Serena got another bracelet.
I love the new character officer Sonya Gonzales.
I hope we see more of her, maybe with other DIK brother or Serena.
I imagine Erica Cerra (Eureka) playing her role, Edward James Olmos like Police Chief Roberts.
In the sex scene in the police station, the division between anal and reverse cowboy is not clear.
I speak Castelhano, a South America variation of Spanish.
I like to sugest some corrections:
"Vivo para servir." - "Yo vivo para servir" OR "Vivo para te servir."
"A papi le gustan mis grandes y suaves chichis, verdad?"
"A papi le gusta mis grandes y suaves chichis, verdad?"
Papi = dad Papito = daddy
"Aqui estan papi -- chupas mis tetas,dejamelas bien humedas y despues ponme la verga entre ellas como tanto
te gusta."
"Aqui estan papi -- chupa mis tetas,dejámelas bien humedas y déspues ponme tu verga entre ellas como tanto
te gusta."
"Chupas mis tetas, papi -- chupale las tetas a la tu puta hijita"
"Chupa mis tetas, papi -- chupále las tetas de tu puta hijita"
"Papi, quieres verme la pucha?" -
"Papi, quiéres verme mi racha (xota)?"
"Me puedo sentar en tus piernas papi? Me puedo sentar en tus piernas, agarrarte la verga y
metermela bien adentro? Quieres cogerte a tu pequena hijita, papi?"
"Puedo sentar en tus piernas papi? Me puedo sentar en tus piernas, agarrar tu verga y
metermela bien adentro? Quieres coger a tu pequeña hijita, papi?"
"Se siente tan bien como me llenas el hoyo papi. Ahora vas a cogerte bien duro a tu nenita, verdad? -- Oh!"
"Siento tan bien como me llenas el culo papi. Ahora vas a coger bien duro a tu nenita, verdad? -- Oh!"
Culo = ass
"Que rico! Te gusta cogerme papi? Se siente bien meterle la verga hasta adentro a la putita de tu hija?"
"Que rico! Te gusta cogerme papi? Se siente bien meter la verga hasta adentro a la putita de tu hija?"
"Papi quiere meterme la verga entre mis tetas y chingarselas, o no? Papi, despues de eso dejarias a la puta de tu hija mamarte la verga?Si? Si? Por favor?"
"Papi quieres meterme tu verga entre mis tetas y xingarselas, o no? Papi, después de eso dejarias la puta de tu hija mamar tu verga?Si? Si? Por favor?"
"Papi va a venirse sobre los pechos de su traviesa hijita, y
entonces ella va chuparse todo como la pequena gran puta que es,"
"Papi va a gozar sobre los pechos de tu traviesa hijita, y
entonces ella va chupar todo como la pequeña gran puta que és,"
why do some remember and some don't e.g. cindy vs serena? ha- like the idea of daniel owning cindy and jenn. is Cindy's ultimate goal to hook up, get together with daniel as a couple or just to be a friend.
ReplyDelete@blahz: interesting thought about cindy being daniel's match rather than jenn at this point. My comment on that is: why build Jenn's character and Daniel/Jenn relationship up so much in book 1 and the first chapters of book 2 only to tear it apart.
Thanks for the feedback and the discussion, folks. Couple of minor comments, en masse (avoid others to prevent spoilers):
ReplyDelete- Cindy will be studied more in coming episodes, both the programming thing and why she didn't seem to mind so much being used
- Daniel and Jenn, Daniel and Cindy. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Overall, glad you enjoyed the episode. This one was (and the next one is) a bit painful to flesh out compared to others.
Oh, and @igort - thanks for the suggestions for the Spanish dialogue. I'll read it over and maybe factor some of the suggestions in.
ReplyDeleteAs an aside, I'm amazed at the variation in the kind of Spanish spoken. I asked two friends to translate, each from Central America, but from different countries there, and the suggestions were quite different, and yours are yet a third variation. But then again, that's probably not that surprising, since "dirty talk" tends to be highly colloquial.
As long as it doesn't make anyone burst out laughing, I'm probably happy...
Ok, lets not try to digress here. :)
ReplyDeleteJenn - Cindy - Serena is out of question right up to this point. Daniel is still highly devoted to Jenn to get sidetracked by Cindy right now.
Let's be honest. If something similar would have happened to one of us, we would be like Daniel; depressed, angry, out for revenge and demanding answers. In the real world, at some point we would have to accept the inevitable and move on since I suspect real mind control is still beyond possible. But this is a story.
Daniel already knows or strongly suspects mind control being involved with Jenn, Majorie, even Serena and Cindy due to his intense dislike of the DIK bracelets. So as long he believes foul play with Jenn's behaviour he won't give up or get sidetracked by Cindy that easily.
If Daniel is trusting Cindy right now, he nothing but deserves to loose Jenn permanently and becoming Biff's loyal sissy boy for the rest of his pathetic live.
Daniel suspects DIK and up until a few days/hours ago Cindy was sporting her DIK bracelet. Now, Daniel is asking questions and suddenly she comes along telling him she took it of suddenly disagreeing with DIK.
Daniel is studying PolSci for gods sake. If he can't figure out or suspects that she is a spy, he deserves whatever he gets.
Concluding I have to agree that Cindy could be someone Daniel ends up with but never until he either rescued Jenn or giving up on her and I can't see him doing that unless she is dead.
@ astardis: said it so much better than me. but not really sure if shes a "spy". don't think shes gonna "report" on him. think that she is getting used by DIK/Jackson and she conveniently has a crush on Daniel.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the misunderstanding, Met.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe she is a real spy, too. What I just wanted to say was, that from Daniel's perspective she must be some kind of spy, distraction or whatever. So either he realizes that and tries to use her for misinformation, tries to confront her to get information or ignores her to minimize his exposure.
So together with his devotion to Jenn, I can't see Daniel getting physical with her soon. It would be out of character.
I think he will try to use her for info about the frat
ReplyDeleteI have to say, this chapter didn't really do it for me. The entire incest thing is just a huge turn off for me, even in imagined fantasy. I honestly found myself skipping paragraphs there. I realize that it works for some people, but for me this was the weakest chapter of the lot. Maybe it's because I have a crush on the lovely Ms. Hansen ;).
ReplyDeleteBlahsz
ReplyDeleteThis chapter is a huge turn on for me.
There are 3 fantasys in one scene:
- Policewoman
- Latina (with Spanish dirt talk)
- Sugar Daddy talk.
I have a crush in Jenn too ;).
igort,
ReplyDeleteI wasn't saying it was poorly written or anything, it's just not in my wheelhouse so to speak. That's ok of course, I'm sure I've been into other chapters more than you. Of those fantasies you mentioned, none really do it for me, and the implied incest angle is a huge turn off for me. Just too high on my squick factor. It's still a well written story and it moves the plot forward, so I'm happy with it. I'm just looking forward to other chapters a bit more.
This chapter is rather nice, glad you done with Daniel torments, nice plot movement, though i skipped most of the police scene, because i didn't understood any of what the girl was saying.
ReplyDelete@ igort: jenn is def sexy....so far I think she is written to be very hot (maybe the only one that can touch her in that dept is serena).
ReplyDelete@ blahsz: agree with the incest game, but the latina scene was nicely written.
@ domein: if you can't speak spanish you can always use bablefish (google it). not exact translations, but perhaps close enough
@Domein - Yeah, as I told a reader on MCForum, I thought about putting in the translation (or just write it in English in the first place), but there was something about having to make an effort to see what was being said that tickled me -- a tiny tiny bit of delayed gratification. I don't speak Spanish myself, beyond the smattering that I picked up here and there from friends. But I made sure everything more or less translates correctly via translate.google.com (which I like a bit better than babelfish, @met).
ReplyDeleteIn any event, I won't make it a habit. Call it an experiment.