A few days late due to some more adventurous July 4th travel than I would have liked, but fear not, as here is July's episode of The Adjusters, "A Day in the Life (I)", wherein we discover what it is like to be a Delta Iota Kappa girl.
As usual, comments welcome.
I'll also remind you that we have a Speculation Thread available for discussion. (A thread which I read but do not comment on.)
18 - A Day in the Life (I)
The light of the new day snuck its way into Cindy Caprese's bedroom
through the curtains and woke her up. Filtered through the orange
material, the morning sunlight acquired the warm and welcoming hue
that never failed to put a smile on the blonde girl's face.
She stretched like a cat, basking in that magical moment when her mind
was emerging slowly from slumber. She glanced at the clock. A touch
past seven. She had nothing planned until eleven, so nothing conspired
to make her miss her appreciation of the morning.
There were faint whispers and giggles from the other side of the wall
to her right. Cindy listened a few moments, then grinned. Her roommate
Melinda had her boyfriend, Chris, over the previous evening, and from
the sound of it must have spent the night. Cindy had fallen asleep to
the sounds of their coupling, and she was ready to bet that she was
fated to wake up in the same manner.
Continue reading...
Next month, episode 19: "A Day in the Life (II)".
Nice one there, but I really hoped to see programming shutdown and rationalization of events in Serena mind in the end of the sexual scene...
ReplyDeletehave to agree with Domein- 2 sex scenes esp Serena, but her thoughts after being picked up by Neils and being shut down (about what the 2 hours were) would've been interesting.
ReplyDeleteAlso wouldn't have minded more details into either Cindy's plan (besides ensnaring daniel), her thoughts on the frat adjusting (which did seem kinda generic- she enjoyed it, the other enjoy it, etc), or even her view of what daniel has been doing the last 2 weeks since that party (a different POV- e.g. is he avoiding her due to the kyra BJ, etc?)
Looking forward to Jenn and Kyra next month- if thats who the next two DIK girl- a day in the life- will be.
Cindy is just as submissive as Serena is dominant. Btw: there was a spelling error. In the pArenthesis: it says though instead of thought.
ReplyDelete@Domein, @Met - Fair enough. Let me see if I can add a scene about the shutdown at the end. Could be interesting, you're right.
ReplyDelete@Met, we'll return to Cindy's in a bit. Sorry about the "genericity". I should probably make another editing pass. And the last two weeks with Daniel have been pretty much same old same old. Still hanging out together, still working on their undergraduate projects.
@Anonymous: Cindy's a bit more complicated than just a submissive, but to a first approximation, yup. And thanks for catching the typo.
@ Bt3: sorry about my comment. what I should've said: is that area of the chapter about Cindy's thoughts (about adjusting) could have had a little more detail which would have mad it stronger (rather than leave it as generic which comes off as rude)
ReplyDelete@Met - no worries about your comment. I read it pretty the way you intended it. As I said, I'll try to add some details before editing it for archiving at the EMCSA.
ReplyDeleteHello Bulgroz,
ReplyDeleteI personally think you made a bad decision to write this chapter and probably the next one in this fashion. It nothing more than an interlude, a filler chapter without story progress.
I like a good written sex scene but you could have easily progressed your story within this episode, just from the POV of Cindy or Serena but you didn't. You practically stopped your story of Daniel and made, as already said, a rather generic sex scene.
A few months ago I stated that it is quite frustrating to wait a full month for a new update just to get a generic sex scene without story progress. To be crude, I can get a 'stroke' story anywhere but what I would like from you is a good story with a nice sexual context.
It's rather late into this month so I won't put my hope up that you will write a story progression into your next chapter, but I really hope that this was your last filler episode.
Thanks alot,
Astardis
Hi Astardis --
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me know how you feel. I appreciate your candor. And I do understand (I think) where you're coming from with this.
By filler, I presume you mean "not moving the plot along"? That's fair.
In my mind, I viewed these episodes more as an interlude in the middle of the story. Maybe not so much for the reader as for the writer :) I also wanted to get give a bit more of the POV that some folks were asking for, and that I thought would be interesting. It also let me convey some of the information that would have been a bit more painful to convey in the traditional way. Less for this episode and the next, but for "A Day in the Life (III)," it becomes important.
You make an interesting point taking them as more of a "stroke story". I didn't think of it that way, but you're right. It's a change of pace for a couple of episodes. I mean, I knew these were different, and I approached them differently than the other episodes, and if one wants to think of it as a stroke-moment in the middle of a longer story, that's probably not entirely inaccurate.
In any case, I hope it won't turn you (or others) away permanently, and fear not, we'll soon resume our scheduled programming.
No fear there.
ReplyDeleteI will stick to the story till the end. :)
What I wanted to say is, that writing from another POV doesn't exclude story progression. During the Serena part you could easily have her witnessing or hearing something that involved Daniel, Jen or the some backstory on the doctor or something like that. Just something that progesses the story a little bit.
Just remember, your readers wait a month per episode and I at least need something more substantial storywise to be pleased.
Thanks alot.
Astardis
I think that this POV thing is great, and is quite a plot moment, as controlled girls behavior is much more understandable now, just wish there were post-control POV scene with explanation of how girls rationalize time lapses, stains on their closes, etc etc.
ReplyDeleteagree with astardis: more plot equals a better story. love the sex scenes, but the reason you're writing is enjoyable is the plot too! Can I request a teaser: who will day in the life II and a day in the III star respectively?
ReplyDeleteI'm taking all you're saying into account, folks, believe me. (Sometimes I may not act on it quite as much as you'd like maybe, but I think about it all.) So thanks for the feedback.
ReplyDelete@met: here's your teaser, rot13ed for those that don't want spoilers: Cneg VV vf nobhg Xlen naq cneg VVV vf nobhg Wraa.