(Thanks for your patience, folks. Here we go.)
Here is October's installment of The Adjusters, “Los Angeles, Part 1", wherein Daniel Malcolm and Eve Shawbank start investigating a new Special in Los Angeles.
As usual, comments welcome.
I'll also remind you that we have a Speculation Thread available for general discussion. (A thread which I read but do not comment on.)
The Adjusters #62 - Los Angeles, Part 1
The flight from DC to Los Angeles was three-quarter full, a late flight in the middle of the week. Most fliers were business people returning home, as near as Daniel Malcolm could tell, after spending a day or two on the East Coast, ready for their commute the next morning. At least, for the middle managers that surrounded Shawbank and him in Economy Class.
Shawbank was out. The lights were dimmed in the cabin, illuminated only by the glow of the individual entertainment units attached to the seats. She was not sleeping, though. She sat in her seat, head back, eyes closed, thinking about whatever it was that was bothering her.
For she seemed bothered by something, that much was clear. Daniel had noticed she had been distracted for several weeks now, more taciturn than usual. Brisecoeur had shrugged when Daniel had carefully pointed it out, and the Belgian’s guess was she had been given a special project. Like the one about hunting down Thaddeus Cargyle? Daniel had asked. “No clue,” Brisecoeur had replied.
The lack of conversation, the darkness, the stillness that characterized planes after the lights were out suited Daniel just fine. He still had not digested the video clip Paul had sent him earlier that evening—Jenn, his Jenn, in the throes of whatever Biff had done to her, whatever Cargyle had done to her, a puppet to artificially induced lust—his Jenn, fucked up, but alive, and functioning.
Continue reading...
Next month: Los Angeles, Part 2.
Just thought I'd give some feedback, since I know that's important to keep the author motivated. :)
ReplyDeleteNot a lot happening this chapter, mostly just set-up for things to come. Really wish the updates weren't spaced so far apart though, the pacing puts a damper on the build up. Once the whole book is completed and I re-read it in one sitting I'm sure it'll be fine, but as a stand alone chapter right now, this one just feels a bit... light.
From danny123
ReplyDeleteDid you mean to have Christina’s last name the same as her boyfriend?
Even though the chapter may have been short or light, I liked that there were some clues put in for the following chapters.
1) Shawbank seems to know or have a strong feeling that people are using the serum beyond the approved areas. Why would she have taken over that part of the investigation from Daniel?
2) Daniel has more clues that will slowly lead him to Jenn. She seems to be part of this special area that Shawbank is investigating. So it looks like he is slowly stumbling his way there.
Thanks for the feedback, folks.
ReplyDeleteIt does look like Book VI is shaping up to be slower paced than the ones before. I didn't plan it that way—but it's what the place where Daniel is at calls for. On the other hand, it will be a short book: only three installments left, at least on paper. And then things should pick up.
Re: Christina's last name. Oops. Leftover from an earlier draft where the two were married. I'll correct. Thanks for catching that.
The special that makes girls cheat has a lot of potential for making some hot situations, sorry to hear that there are only 3 more parts about him. And he seem to have broken the adjusted girl too, gave her some conflicting orders perhaps?
ReplyDeleteI'm worried that if I spend too much time with him, it'll distract from the overall story line. In a get-back-to-the-good-stuff sort of way :) But as usual, those things tend to get decided during the writing phase, and not so much the planning phase.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, he does seem to have broken our good Mrs McGregor. Which we've already met, of course. That cute little trophy wife...
good stuff dude, good stuff. I like the pacing and how things come together.
ReplyDeleteg.