Wednesday, November 2, 2011

New Story: The Adjusters #22

Here is November's episode of The Adjusters, "Back in Town", wherein the repercussions of Biff and Jenn's return to North Alexandria are felt.

As usual, comments welcome.

I'll also remind you that we have a Speculation Thread available for discussion. (A thread which I read but do not comment on.)


22 - Back in Town

"Dan, are you listening?"

Daniel jerked out of his reverie. "Yes, sorry. I'm here."

Cindy looked at him cautiously, the way she had been doing on and off
for the previous two hours. "Physically, maybe. Although even that's
debatable. You've been way out of it."

You have no idea, he thought. She had been much more subdued than
usual herself, he wanted to point out, but did not. Instead, he
straightened up in his chair, shaking himself awake. They were in an
empty classroom, and it was late afternoon. The last lectures were
done, and there was a break in the day before evening lectures would
pick up. They often met at that time to work on their senior projects,
Daniel on mind-control techniques for election manipulations, and
Cindy on the economic impacts of mind-altering substances. The
projects shared much in terms of background material.

"It's because of me, isn't?" Cindy asked, almost too softly to be
heard.

Daniel looked at her without saying anything.

"We've been skirting the issue all afternoon." She sighed, put down
the chalk she was using to write on the blackboard. "Last night. I
kindda dumped on you, you know, with my baggage? I'm so sorry about
that. Sometimes I get a bit out of control when I drink. I mean, I
like you, Dan, a lot, you should know that by now, but I'm really not
one to throw myself at someone like that..." She let the rest of the
sentence trail. "I'm sorry I burst up like a water balloon, all emo
and all. I guess... I guess I've been a bit down about stuff these
days. Again, I'm sorry." She kept her eyes down.


Continue reading...


Next month, episode 23: "Agent Shawbank".

13 comments:

  1. Damn—missed the Nov 1 deadline by 3 minutes.

    This episode could probably have used another editing pass. I apologize in advance for typos and weird grammatical structures you'll encounter...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh finally the truth starts to come out for Dan, and the trigger is known to him, wounder if he will figure out the thing with the ring, things getting really interesting :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Finally.

    I like your story very much, but being strung month to month without much progress was tiring for me.

    I like the way it goes and the way Cindy came through at last. I really hope you stay on the story for a while so we get forward with it.

    Astardis

    ReplyDelete
  4. an error or two that I caught

    "...and Jennie came like a fuck around that arm that was splitting her open." this sentence in the story about the ball players needed an editing pass.

    Cindy talking about her bracelet: "but if I would forget it was there". should be but I would....


    My thoughts:
    1) So confrontation finally happened. Don't think Biff set it up- as him seeing Daniel was unexpected. Everything I expected- Daniel not sure what is going on- noticing the new style of dressing and her third person description of herself.

    Jenn clearly knows and selected him- probably for comfort, but then following instructions went to another guy. Wonder what was going on in her actual mind as her nympho personality tried to seduce Daniel? And it clearly was her nympho personality as she asked if he liked the videos/her stories and if she wanted him to hook up with Cindy.

    2) But even her new personality has remnants of her old- she remembers Daniel likes "yarns" or stories, called him lover, the mastery of English comment. her thoughts would be quite interesting- her disgust vs wanting to be with him (living room floor etc).

    3) Raven haired woman- still wondering what she is up to- finding the doctor? But why is she still watching Daniel so much? Is Chapter's 23 title her name?

    4) still wondering what Rhad knows but didn't tell Daniel yet.

    5) Looks like Daniel is starting to fall for Cindy- his emotions Jenn vs Cindy were conflicted in the first part prior to the dinner. Wonder how he feels after the truth came out about her knowing stuff.

    6) But she clearly has strong feelings him- tried to defend him vs Jenn, vs Biff and gang, and then seduced him via anger still. Or maybe it was seeing seductive and controlled Jenn that put Cindy into overdrive? Interesting that Daniel felt her hands and mouth "were perfect fits".

    Re: her info: She admits guilt about hiding the info she had, why she told him. She' quite knowledgeable about what happened.

    7) He knows its something with the bracelet, drugs, and stimulation but now how it works, or the activation phrase.

    8) Glad Daniel finally got angry. glad he punched Biff.

    Sorry about the long post.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Domein — thanks!

    @Astardis — glad you're still on board. And I understand your frustration, even though I can't really do much to alleviate it. But things should be tumbling down rather more quickly now...

    @Met — thanks for catching the typos. Your thoughts are pretty much on track with what I wanted to convey, so kudos. And since most of your questions have spoilery answers, I will refrain from addressing them. But they are good questions. (And no worries about the long post. At least I personally don't mind at all.)

    And once more, thanks for keeping me company with this tale, folks. I appreciate it a lot...

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ bt3: even though i would love answers, i also ask questions for others to either point things i miss, or to contribute....

    understand you're not a big spoiler fan- though an occasional mid-month spoiler is nice (the jenn fuscha dress scene seemed like something you posted a while back)..... :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jenn has dazzling grey eyes in chapter 1, bright blue eyes in chapter 12, and large brown eyes in chapter 22.

    Cindy has got two heads: "She extended a head towards Jenn, who looked at it for a second before looking up at Cindy."

    You need proofreaders.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Anonymous — *laughing* No shit I need a proofreader! And probably a second head too, like I gave Cindy. I'm just way to disorganized to get someone else to look at these before they go out.

    Seriously though, I did completely miss the eye thing, Turns out Jenn's eye color's not on my character chart, which probably explains the kaleidoscopic effect. I'll settle on a color and edit the episodes when I move them to HTML on ASSTR. (Any day now...)

    And of course the Cindy-related sentence was meant to read "She extended a *hand* towards Jenn, who looked at it for a second before looking up at Cindy."

    ReplyDelete
  9. I wounder what will happen if the girl says the trigger about being a dick brother? Will it work the same if she has the ring? Or will it fail because she is not actually a brother? Or will it spike a conflict in triggered girl due to not being attracted to girls sexually?

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Domein — Excellent question, one that no one has tried just yet. My gut feeling: I think it'd work as long as the girl wore the frat's ring. Then again, the programming that the doctor performed was a bit unstable because of the rather rudimentary facilities he had, so who really knows what might happen in that situation...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am interested how Daniel will proceed from here on. He now has knowledge that something had been done to Jennifer and the others so how is he reacting?

    I guess it is safe to assume, that he will inform Radhu next but will he tell Serena what he knows happened to her?

    Since we know, some of Serena's adjustment is even effecting her real self since she forgot all about her abduction and she is less suspicious towards DIK. So will she deny being adjusted and more important will Serena, after being triggered by a DIK brother, warn those that she is compromised?

    On the other hand, given the title of the next episode, Daniel might have taken the lead out of his hand again.

    Astardis

    ReplyDelete
  12. @astardis

    Interesting first question. Agree that he will tell Radhu. Not sure, and doubt that he will tell Serena- he knows that she clearly likes the frat now and was adjusted is the cause of that. Not sure if he will trust her right now.

    The question is I think does he trust Cindy. previous he mentioned he didn't fully trust her due to her preivous associated with the frat. Does her confession change that?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Answers in the coming episodes, so I'll let those speak for me. But good points, altogether.

    ReplyDelete