Monday, August 11, 2014

New Story: The Adjusters #53

Back from traveling. Man, it's nice to be home. Thanks for your patience, folks.

Here is August's installment of The Adjusters, “Intermezzo: Family Counseling Services”, wherein we discover a business model.

As usual, comments welcome.

I'll also remind you that we have a Speculation Thread available for general discussion. (A thread which I read but do not comment on.)


The Adjusters #53 - Intermezzo: Family Counseling Services

James McGregor—Jim to his employees, Jimmy to his close friends—did not hesitate to cross the threshold of the nondescript building in East Los Angeles.

Whatever else one might say about James, and one could say many things about James and not all of them heartwarming, being prone to indecision was not one of them.

When James ran into a problem, James stopped long enough to determine the extent of that problem, formulate a plan to solve said problem, and then enact said plan. That approach had served him well for the previous twenty-five years, from the time he wrestled control of Electro Manufacturing Incorporated away from his then father-in-law and grew it into the largest industrial control panels manufacturer on the West Coast.

That approach had served him well years later when he determined that his then wife—the daughter of the father-in-law in question—after a solid fifteen-years marriage that had yielded two sons, was simply not worthy of being the wife of one of the most successful businessman in Southern California. She was unhappy, and was letting herself go, and he found it increasingly embarrassing to be seen in her company.

When he concluded his wife had become a liability, that she was a problem, he formulated a plan and enacted it without pity. It had been a simple matter to hire a handsome out-of-work actor to seduce and sleep with her while a private investigator followed the couple and documented the affair in exquisite graphic detail. Armed with incontrovertible evidence, suing her for divorce was a short and easy affair. James obtained custody of his sons and left his ex-wife with hardly anything. The one-time lump payment for relocation that his wife’s lawyer did manage to obtain turned out to be less than the fee James had promised the out-of-work actor but never paid due to the poor fellow’s deportation proceedings back to Canada—his visa having expired a year prior, something that had not escaped James’s careful screening of potential candidates—an anecdote which James would have considered poetic had he had any appreciation for poetry.


Continue reading...

Next month: “Intermezzo: Cindy Caprese”.

9 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Try refreshing a few times. I recall someone saying that ASSTR has two servers that do not sync at quite the same speed, so one may have a copy while the other doesn't. Refreshing hits one or the other server randomly, so you should get lucky after a while.

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    1. (Where by a “few times” I mean “up to twelve times, say” which is the number of refreshes I needed when I tried just now... Sigh.)

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    2. I got through right after I posted above and that's why I deleted the comment. There have been many problems with ASSTR recently.

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  3. From danny123:

    Well worth the wait. Great installment. Will need to read again so more comments will follow in a few days.

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    1. I agree, first read was good but I have this speed reading thing so I will also reread several times before commenting.

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  4. So does Sherry know she's been adjusted since she has a tattoo?

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  5. My thoughts on this chapter:

    - Some parts of this chapter was really hot. I really liked the scenes with Lena the Boss's Toy in particular. There's something very fun and arousing about how accepting she was of the fact that she was hired just for sex without any sort of mind control

    - The excessive violence towards the end of the chapter got a bit too much. I feel like it would've been more effective if the husband emotionally tortured his wife's lover, rather than just breaking bones.

    - Taking the chapter as a whole, I'm not quite sure what the point of it was. It was fun, certainly, but all this focus on characters we never met before and will likely never meet again... it does the pacing of the story no favors. We do get to see more of AdCorp's various activities... but if that was the purpose I think it would've been better to have this chapter been a series of vignettes, featuring a lot of different clients of the FCS, rather than just the focus on Jim and his wife, neither of whom are particularly compelling characters.

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  6. Thanks for the feedback, folks.

    Some quick responses:

    - Sherry does not know she's adjusted. (More accurately, she's been adjusted to not realize she's been adjusted. Makes sense, really.)

    - I did think about the vignette approach, but it didn't work quite as well when I sketched it out. And it's not entirely clear that we're not going to see those characters again...

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